Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Happy 20th Birthday Ariana Grande!!!: We Know You're a Pothead

Here, at Chiffon Cloud we honor the dead and mock the living. So, today we poke fun at one of our favorite performers on her birthday, Ariana Grande. See her screw up on the (unjustly ended) Nickelodeon series, "Victorious".

It's everyone else who likes to see Young Hollywood crash and burn, not me. I love the youth and respect that their/our journey to self-realization occurs in world that will eventually needs them/us to run it. That's pressure guys, try to cut them/us some slack.
How everyone else looks judging Young Hollywood
I'm almost certain society resents seeing the young earn more money than the old, especially with less education and in less time. I suspect this resentment is fueled by long lived misconceptions linking payroll to work capacity. If Young Hollywood doesn't deserve the money they earn, does that mean they deserve to be ridden with vices & mental illness? Here's where I blame the parents who stop being parents so they can get paid by their kids.
"FINE, Todd Bridges, YOU pay the bills. So the meth lab stays."
That doesn't mean that I like my young stars without edge, I just don't like seeing them cut themselves on that edge. Lohan and Bynes are two examples of girls who have fallen into the trap of being "Starlets" instead of being comedians/actresses. But I blame it all on the drugs; bc court cases, rehab and Twitter battles are much easier to do drunk/pilled up than a movie/tv series.

"Always something for you at the office, though Lindsay" 
So why am I fine with  Ariana Grande's passive aggressive admissions of marijuana use? Because she's still working! She fits it into her schedule to smoke weed, brag about it on camera, and make an album.  Just call me Pharaoh, because I'm a sucker for those hard-working actresses who do everything and have lavish breaks to assure me they're human. 

And since she's human, I don't see anything wrong with her wanting to take the edge off. She usually rocks clear eyes but now and again she can be caught slipping. I'm watching you, Grande as well as the other stoners at Dan Schneider's Bakery. 

The Proof 

Before this investigation was opened, I had long suspected Grande because of her role as Cat Valentine on Nickelodeon's "Victorious". But since the sudden end of the series this past February, Grande has linked up with iCarly's (another Nick show that recently ended) Jennette McCurdy and stars in "Sam & Cat". I'm sure it's fine that I'm making serious conclusions about her life based on a fictional character she plays, too.
                                                     Scenes From "Sam & Cat"
This is her 10 year old "hair" dealer.

Her dealer sold her a strain  called "Justin Bieber."


Cat Valentine's Munchies
snip, snip pass.
Cat is sharing that good good licorice. Look at Andre's heavy lidded eyes.

It's all mine and  I'm not sharing!
She doesn't share when she has the serious munchies.

Cat on Victorious

Her true form

"I'm a kite!" Yeah, she sure looks higher than a kite.

Do you mind if I smoke your plant?

Maybe I should braid a joint later. Hmmm...
Rolling with Mac Miller in "The Way"
She did a song with Mac Miller. He's the "dopest" rapper of her generation
His secret is safe with her.

They are flying higher than that balloon.


Grande and Liz Gillies Film in the Bathroom in "Strange Night" 

Her Laugh

Happy Birthday, Ariana Grande! I'm sure you're spending it somewhere nicer than I'm spending my summer (sticking to my seat at home) but you've earned it for staying alive 20 years. 

1 comment:

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